Mrs. Crawley tells Cousin Matthew that they ought to go on another church outing with Edith after she made such an effort to arrange the last one. He tells her Edith's barking up the wrong tree (smelling salts +2)! Mrs. Crawley hopes there's a right tree for Edith somewhere. I'm sure there is... In Hell. Mr. B catches Thomas stealing wine, because of course he does. And he doesn't say anything, because that is the trend on this show. Dramz! Outside Lord G tells Lady G that his letter hinted that Mr. Napier had found Mary wanting... uh oh! She tells him Mary needs to get married ASAP. Downstairs everyone's asking Daisy what inspired her turn in Mary's room. She blames the Titanic, but evil duo Thomas and O'Brien are suspicious. The village prepares for the annual flower show and Mrs. Crawley finds out that the Countess always wins best bloom. Back at the house we find out that Thomas is responsible for spreading gossip about Mary. Of course he is!!! Gahhh!!!! He asks O'Brien not to tell anyone as Mr. B already caught him stealing wine. They decide it's time to get rid of Mr. B, because they are horrible human beings. Then they corner poor little Daisy and try to get her to spill the beans.
Mary tells Cousin Matthew he better watch out
|To answer your question, yes I felt bad for laughing...|
The dialogue here is at its absolute best:
Countess: My dear Mrs. Crawley believes I'm profiting from an unfair advantage.
Lady G: Oh?
Countess: She feels in the past I've been given the cup merely as a matter of routine rather than merit.
Matthew: That's rather ungallant, Mother. I'm sure when we see cousin Violet's roses it'll be hard to think there could be better.
Mrs. Crawley: Hard, but not impossible.
Countess: You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Mrs. Crawley: I take that as a compliment.
Countess: I must have said it wrong.
Hahaha (smelling salts +4)! All I want at this point is to spend the day shadowing the Countess. She's just too funny! And she really is one of my favorite characters. Then Mary and Cousin Matthew get to talking and she tells him some dull neighbors are coming to dinner. He says maybe he'll shine by comparison and she replies, "Maybe you will." Eeek (smelling salts +5)! Carson asks the servants to come speak with him if they know what's happened to Lord G's missing snuff box and it's obvious that Thomas and O'Brien were behind it, trying to set Mr. B up.
Lady G asks Mary to look after their neighbor Sir Anthony at dinner. He's a boring old man and she pooh-poohs the idea. So Lady G breaks out the big guns and tells her about the rumors in London in the hopes that it will shock her into seriously looking for a husband before her reputation is ruined. Mary tells her mother to concentrate on Edith who "needs all the help she can get." I totally agree with her, but holy heck Edith was eavesdropping! NO!!!!!!!!!! This can't be good. In the kitchens Mrs. Patmore is knocking things over and causing all kinds of mishaps and at the dinner table Mary has a glazed over look on her face as Sir Anthony talks her ear off. But Edith soon captures his attention as she falls over herself to flirt with the man old enough to be her father. Bleck! Cousin Matthew and Mary are getting on splendidly...! All these little hints that her feelings are changing! Get on with it, Mary! Then Sir Anthony takes a bite out of his raspberry meringue and spits it out. It was covered in salt instead of sugar! Mary and Cousin Matthew have a little giggle and it's really quite adorable (smelling salts +6). Mrs. Patmore is very upset about messing up the recipe. Then Anna tells Mr. B she bets Thomas and O'Brien hid the snuff box in his room to get him fired. She instructs him to find it and they'll hide it one of their rooms. Payback! After dinner the ladies are all talking about the dessert fiasco and Edith scolds Mary for giggling about it with Cousin Matthew.
|No one takes Edith as seriously as Edith.|
Mary: Oh, poor Edith. I'm sorry Cousin Matthew's proved a disappointment to you.
Edith: Who says he has?
Mary: Matthew! He told me. Oh, sorry, wasn't I supposed to know?
Lady G throws Edith a compliment for taking care of Sir Anthony and Edith boasts she enjoyed it. Ugh. Edith. You can take him! Nobody cares! She bets that Mary can't "win every prize" and Mary takes up the challenge. No!!! Don't do it Mary! Don't fall for that bait! Mrs. Patmore tells Carson she doesn't need a doctor to tell her she's going blind. Dear butler Carson looks so sympathetic, I could really use a hug from him right now just because. When the men go to join the ladies, Lord G and Cousin Matthew hint at how things are looking up for Matthew's relationship with Mary. But as soon as they come into the room, Mary immediately snaps up Sir Anthony because of the bet. Which causes Edith to attempt snapping up Cousin Matthew. But he's not having any of it, makes his excuses, and leaves. Mary runs after him, but she doesn't leave the house. She just watches him disappear into the night.
|Hike up your skirts and run after him, you dummy!|
Anna: Because... I love you, Mr. Bates. I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be.
Bates: You are a lady to me. And I never knew a finer one.
She's a lady to him (smelling salts +9)! OH MY GOSH! I caaaaan't!!! Back at the flower show Gwen tells Sybil that she didn't get the job and "only a fool doesn't know when they've been beaten." But our angelic golden-hearted Sybil quickly responds, "Then I'm the fool, for I'm a long way from being beaten yet" (smelling salts +10). Mary apologizes to Cousin Matthew and nearly explains the details of her bet, but he tells her not to apologize and walks away. Gosh darn it, Mary, what have you done?!
|I just want to point out how perfect their outfits are.|
All in all, it was quite the eventful episode! But... yes... there is a but... PARDONNEZ-MOI BUT WHERE WAS BRANSON?!?!?! You can't just grace my screen with him one episode and rip him away from me the next! NOT COOL!! He better be back next time with a lot of screen time to make up for this travesty!