I have to confess something to you. And since we've been through so much together, I'm hoping you'll be understanding and forgive me. You see, I have wronged you in the worst possible way! *sobs... composes oneself... deep breath* The thing is, I did something very foolish. I willingly chose to live with roommates who have no interest in getting cable. And since your lovely show, which is so close to my heart by the way, is on SyFy in the United States, it's quite impossible for me to get constant reminders in the form of commercials plastered with Bradley James' flawless face that it's time to watch this week's episode. And even though I follow @MerlinOfficial on twitter, the message must have gotten mixed up in the chaos of my dashboard. I even follow Bradley (Arthur) and Rupert (Sir Leon), but they were no help either. Not that I'm blaming them! *backpedals* They are innocent and, as I said, flawless human beings. I think you can see where this is going, so I might as well come out with it... I missed the premiere of season 4 of Merlin three weeks ago. I've caught up now, but I just wanted to be honest. Because I care about this relationship. We've had so many good times... the countless marathons, the time I visited the set in France and stared open mouthed at Bradley in his chainmail and Colin with his sweet Irish accent. I don't want you to think that I care about Downton Abbey more than you. It's a lie, Merlin, it's a lie! Don't believe it for one second! They might say you're a tad on the cheesy side, but I like cheese. And magic. But there's so much more to you than that! In fact, the season premiere was the perfect example of why. So if you'll allow me to grovel a little longer, let me count the reasons why I love you so...
1. What a flawless way to open, Merlin! With Sir Leon? I mean, HELLO! I've been wanting to run my fingers through his wild mess of hair for three seasons now. In general, he gives me a lot of uncontrollable FEELINGS that make me dance to "December, 1963 (Oh, What A KNIGHT)" which is why this is the best thing ever. Plus he's immortal thanks to last season. Ballerrrrr! Plus he's in CHAINMAIL. Plus he's on horseback and those red capes with the Pendragon crest look AMAZING on a windy day. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Flawless show is flawless.
2. The Isle of the Blessed. I mean, this is real life Arthurian legend, yo!
3. Prince Arthur's flawless face. Plus chainmail. Plus flowy red cape... Plus his neck. I'm just saying.
4. It's always time for a feast in Camelot and, I must say, I do love that about it. Besides, it usually means we get to see Prince Arthur wearing his crown of BAMF.
5. Backstabber Morganna turns real stabber in order to tear the veil between the living and the dead. DRAMZ!!! ACTUAL PLOT LINES!!!
6. Slow mo montage! I love it when you do that.
7. Um... I watch this show for plot! Prince Arthur's such a complex character 100% of the time.
8. I mean, he acts tough, but look at what a compassionate ruler he is! And you just sneak these moments in, Merlin. I love these little glimpses at what a great king he will be.
9. Heyo! Knights of the Round Table on horseback! In flowy red capes! In the wilderness! Scenes like this show that you really understand me and my standards... And make me hum embarrassingly sappy love songs. And bonus! You threw in a little name calling between Arthur and Merlin. I mean "clockpole" was an instant favorite. Am I right?
10. You've hit the perfect balance between comic relief and Herbal Essence commercial with Gwaine. I appreciate that. I also appreciate that Percival can't find chainmail to go past his shoulders. I might snort with laughter, but I do appreciate it.
11. YOU LEGITIMATELY MANAGED TO SCARE ME HERE!
12. Did I mention that you invented bromance? And this is the bromance to end all bromances! It's my favorite part of the show!!! They pass from serious to cheeky moments like this so seamlessly... ughhhh. So many warm fuzzies! It's magical.
13. Heroism! You let every character have a moment to shine, which is awesome! Look what Percival can do with his bare arms! Save all the children! From the evil spirits of the dead no less!
14. Sometimes a little I-saw-this-coming-the-whole-time plot twists can be a good thing. I mean, it's like we just took our relationship to the next level, Merlin. I can read your thoughts. I like it.
15. CREYES FOR EYES!!!!!!!
16. FLAWLESS. Sorry. I just felt the need to say it twice.
17. Hey! I've been there (Pierrefonds, France)! Kudos to the location scouts. It's so pretty. Especially with knights in shining armor. But seriously, you're stunning, Merlin.
18. Merlin's unwavering loyalty to Arthur. Oh yeah... AND HIS FLAWLESS FACE.
19. Merlin's I'm-doing-magic eyes. I don't know why I love them... but I do.
20. Is there anything sexier than Prince Arthur's off-the-shoulder armor?? NO.
21. Bonding moments and pep talks! Gosh. I love this bromance something fierce.
22. When Merlin takes one for the team. OMG CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!!!!!!
Merlin, my love for you is true. I could write you a sonnet or enter an archery competition to prove to you just how much I adore you. Words cannot express how much I care. Not just because Arthur is a total babe when he's in shining armor or because Gwaine flips his hair just so or because Sir Leon speaks in low dulcet tones or because Percival can't find chainmail with sleeves or even because Merlin knows just how to pull my heartstrings with his glossy-eyes-and-perfect-bone-structure-sneak-attack-glances... You're adventurous and funny, charismatic and cheeky, you have a mind-blowing soundtrack, and no matter what anyone says about your special effects, I will love you always. In 2009, all alone in my French bomb shelter, you gave me so much comfort and joy. I promised to be true to you in good times and in bad... And this- me forgetting the season premiere- that was bad. I hope you'll forgive me, terrible slacker of a fan that I am. I deserve to be sent to the stocks, but I really do hope we're cool. Because you're the best, you're the greatest, and I'd brave evil Morganna for you.
P.S. I love you.
P.P.S. I'd totally run away with you... just... FYI.