And now it's time for the Downton Abbey Christmas special! First off, why don't American shows do Christmas specials like the Brits? Lame. Second off, I don't know whether to cry tears of joy or tears of sorrow because it's all about to be over. Which means I'm going to have withdrawal from Branson and Cousin Matthew for an ENTIRE YEAR. Victorian Swag field trip to England to visit the set anyone? Or better yet, does anyone want to sponsor a Victorian Swag field trip to Downton? Because... well, let's just say if this show was my life, I'd be one of the servants. BUT ANYWAY! SIDETRACKING! FEELINGS! COME FORWARD!
- It's Christmas at the manor (smelling salts +1)! Period pieces and Christmas? These are a few of my favorite things! Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts!
- Looks like the family's been praying for Mr. B in church that morning because he's apparently on trial FOR HIS LIFE (brass knuckles +1).
- Personally, my Christmas wish is that Santa picks up vile Richard and punts him off his sleigh with a jolly ho ho ho. Alas, there he is in the parlor, ranting about how servants get the holiday off like a world class jerk (brass knuckles +2).
- Oh Cousin Matthew, offering to support Mary at Mr. B's trial (smelling salts +2). You are so thoughtful and true! *cough* MARRY HER *cough*
- Anna goes to visit Mr. B in jail and apart from the fact that I hate him for putting her through this, he makes it even worse with his hopeless attitude (brass knuckles +3). Throw the girl a bone, man! Haven't you hurt her feelings enough?!
- But I'm easily distracted because OMG LADY G JUST GOT NEWS THAT SYBIL'S PREGNAAAAAAANT (smelling salts +3)!!!!!!!!! This is the first in a long line of OTP babies, n'est pas? Yayyy!!!! Can I babysit? Can we rewind and see the moment when Sybil told Branson? Because I will not stand for this! Do I need to propose a Downton Abbey spin-off?!
- But... *GASP* PARDONNEZ-MOI! Sybil and Branson have obviously already gotten married, which means WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT (brass knuckles +4)! YOU DID NOT JUST DENY ME THAT!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!! I HATE EVERYTHING!
- Anna catches Aunt Rosamund's potential suitor, Lord Hepworth, talking to Aunt Rosamund's slap-worthy maid, Miss Shaw in the hallway. They are totes having an affair, y'all (brass knuckles +5).
|Stolen glances! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!|
- Dear Cousin Matthew intervenes on Mary's behalf saying she already made plans to stand with him at the shoot (smelling salts +4).
- Chez Countess, Edith asks oh-why-has-this-bore-resurfaced Sir Anthony to go for a drive like old times. When he says no, she clears up their history thinking that might be the reason why he won't go. But he says he's too old for her (smelling salts +5). Yes! How sensible and true! LISTEN TO HIM EDITH!
- But desperate-for-any-form-of-human-attention Edith declares, "If you think I'm going to give up on someone who calls me lovely-" (brass knuckles +6). EDITH! What did I just say?! I was actually starting to like you. Why are you so dumb with all ze boys?!
- Ughhh!!!! Vile Richard asks Mary if he'll ever be free of Cousin Matthew (brass knuckles +7). How quickly will you disappear if I say NO?
- This quickly escalates into a fight in the woods, but Cousin Matthew interrupts before things get out of hand (smelling salts +6).
- Mrs. Crawley announces she's going to go to York for the trial to help keep up everyone's spirits (smelling salts +7).
- Intent on returning the favor, Mary tells Cousin Matthew that she wants to be there to support him when he buries Lavinia's father's ashes (smelling salts +8). YOU SO OBVIOUSLY LOVE EACH OTHER! COME ON!
|Hands off, you tramp!|
- Yet another red flag, vile Richard grabs Mary to harangue her about setting a date for what would no doubt be the most depressing wedding in the world (brass knuckles +8).
- But oh! There's Cousin Matthew running after her, telling her she'll always have a home at Downton as long as he's alive (smelling salts +9). But why doesn't he mean it in the 'let's have lots of sex and babies' sense? WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!
- Obviously torn up about the Mary/vile Richard situation, Lord G asks Lady G if he's missing something. She finally tells him Mary's secret (smelling salts +10). At laaaaaaaaaaaaast! This plot line is being put to rest! Now we only have to tell Matthew... yikes!
- Mrs. Hughes, O'Brien, and Lord G speak in court concerning Mr. B and while they're trying to be helpful, their commentary ends up being anything but (brass knuckles +9). How did the prosecution know some of this information? Did Mr. B sabotage himself?!
- ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! THE VERDICT IS GUILTY! HE'S GOING TO BE HANGED (brass knuckles +10).
- Poor Anna's reaction (brass knuckles +11). I caaaaaaaaan't! Mr. B! What have you done?! I don't know, you guys, I'm upset, but I really think he did it.
- Everyone meets in a pub afterward and they're all set to challenge the verdict to get him life in prison instead (smelling salts +11).
- Later, Lord G tells Mary he knows all about her one night stand. He makes his preference of Cousin Matthew over vile Richard very clear and says, "I want a good man for you" (smelling salts +12). Such a sweet father/daughter moment!
|Matthewwww!!!! You are so beautiful it hurts.|
- After the "funeral" for Lavinia's father, Cousin Matthew lets Mary walk away instead of snapping up a golden opportunity to declare his FEELINGS. Conflicted FEELINGS, maybe, but FEELINGS all the same. His mother tells him he's making a mistake, but he responds, "I deserve to be unhappy. So does Mary" (brass knuckles +12). IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS, MATTHEW!
- Thomas, in a warped attempt to win Lord G's trust and become his valet- you know, since the other one's being put to death- steals Lord G's dog and stuffs her in a shed in the middle of the woods to be miraculously "found" by him later (brass knuckles +13). The dog, Thomas? You really are heartless. And I still hate you.
|P.S. Anna looks just like my yoga instructor.|
- In jail, Mr. B tells Anna that she has to forgive the witnesses at his trial. He also tells her "no man can regret loving as I have loved you" (smelling salts +13). And that's the first time I've liked him in a long time, even if for a split second.
- Back at Downton, Anna hands in her notice (brass knuckles +14).
- AT LAST, Mary tells Matthew the truth about Kemal Pamuk and she makes a Tess of the d'Urbervilles reference as she does it (smelling salts +14). *shoves Kemal's ghost aside to make way for a life of OTP bliss*
- Daisy makes a long overdue trip to William's father's farm. There he asks her to be his daughter and it's all very touching (smelling salts +15).
- A child found the dog in the woods and collected the reward from Lord G. But when Lord G sees how hard Thomas "tried to find her," he rethinks his apprehensions about promoting him (brass knuckles +15). Excuse me, Karma? I'm still waiting for you to STRIKE THOMAS DOWN!
- In preparation for the story to break out in the newspapers after she calls things off with vile Richard- jeez, Lord G, why didn't you say something sooner?!- Mary decides she's going to wait it out in America (brass knuckles +16). What about Matthew?! Hoping to getting away from England as soon as possible once her husband is hanged, Anna decides to tag along.
- Unfortunately, Lord G decides to give Thomas a trial being his valet (brass knuckles +17). But he locked your dog away in the woods!
- Mrs. Crawley tells Matthew what I'm sure we're all dying to tell him which is, "I wish you'd take my advice and fight for her" (smelling salts +16). MOTHER KNOWS BEST, MATTHEW!!!
- MARY FI-NA-LLY BREAKS OFF HER ENGAGEMENT (smelling salts +17)!!!!!!! HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!!!! MAKE WAYYYYYY FOR COUSIN MATTHEW!
- Naturally, vile Richard threatens to expose her scandal as well as Mr. B's, besmirching Downton in the papers (brass knuckles +18).
|The best screencap I could get... baha!|
- Our hero Matthew interrupts, they argue, and THEN HE PUNCHES VILE RICHARD (smelling salts +18)!!!!!!!!!!!
- Lord G and the Countess come into the room, vile Richard says he doubts they'll ever meet again, and our feisty Countess replies, "Do you promise?" (smelling salts +19). I love her!
- A telegram arrives with news that Mr. B's sentence has been changed to life in prison (smelling salts +20). Lord G says in time they'll prove his innocence.
- I'm sorry, but I just have to dish out points for Cousin Matthew's "Crikey" reaction when he hears he'll have to dance with O'Brien at the servant's ball (smelling salts +21). Matthew knows what's up! If only this was the case in his love life...
- After seeing Miss Shaw and Lord Hepworth slip upstairs, Anna brings Mary and Aunt Rosamund to the bedroom where they catch them in the act (brass knuckles +19). Guess Aunt Rosamund won't be marrying him after all! Skeeze.
- Since Mr. B's sentence has been changed, Anna withdraws her resignation (smelling salts +22). Yay!
- Mary and Cousin Matthew dance and... I CAN'T HANDLE THE PROXIMITY AND THE TENSION AND ALL THE FEELINGS (smelling salts +23).
|Imma gonna sneak into your house and steal your dress, Lady G!|
- Lady G tells Lord G she wants both Sybil and Branson to come home (smelling salts +24). YES! DO THAT!
- Except it looks like this episode is going to end, which means a solid two hours WITHOUT Sybil and Branson (brass knuckles +20). GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! WTF!
|My. aching. heart.|
- Outside in the snow, Cousin Matthew asks Mary if she'd stay at Downton if he asked her to (smelling salts +25).
- She asks if he's forgiven her about Pamuk, but he says she doesn't need his forgiveness (smelling salts +26). This man! THIS MAN!
- AND OMG THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER BECAUSE HE PROPOSES (smelling salts +27)!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHFDFJSLDJKFLSI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|AH! AH! AH! AH! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING!!!!|
- BUT SHE TELLS HIM TO GET DOWN ON HIS KNEE AND DO IT PROPERLY (smelling salts +28)! HOLY VALIDATION! Do you understand what this MEANS?! Mary and I are spirit animals! I've always said if the guy doesn't get down on his knee, he's not going to get the answer he wants. And I have been ridiculed about this MY ENTIRE LIFE! But there! There you have it! YES!!!!!!!!!
- AND HE GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEE AND PROPOSES AGAIN (smelling salts +29)! SO MUCH LOVE, HE'S GOT TO PROPOSE TWICE (OR THRICE IF YOU INCLUDE SEASON ONE AND THIS IS SO PERFECT BECAUSE WE NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE HIM PROPOSE THAT TIME)!
- MY HEART IS OFFICIALLY IMPLODING AS THEY KISS (smelling salts +31)!
- AND THEN HE PICKS HER UP AND TWIRLS HER AROUND (smelling salts +32)! AND EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS! HEARTS IN MY EYES!!!!
Any predictions for next season? I mean, what is going to happen now that Sybil/Branson and Matthew/Mary have gotten together? Weird things are happening outside of these swoon-worthy plot lines. I'm actually getting attached to Edith, but she's so desperate, I'm afraid she's going to try to marry Sir Anthony. And then he'll die as soon as they're married and she'll be alone again! Don't do it, Edith! And life ruiner O'Brien has somewhat developed a heart and tact this season. I can't believe it. Is her reign of evil alongside Thomas officially over? Will Mr. B ever get out of prison? Will the truth about Pamuk's death make it to the papers? Can I be an extra? I NEED THE ANSWERS ASAP!
Well, dear readers, I hope you enjoyed season 2 of Downton Abbey as much as I did. But then, my level of enjoyment was entirely based on PROXIMITY and there was a delicious amount of it this season! And now, I will go find a fainting couch somewhere and revel in those last few minutes of the special... *le sigh* In fact... I'm sorry, but I just have to see it one more time...
Or maybe two more times... or three... or infinity... Ok. I'm done. No... No, I'm not...