Thursday, May 3, 2012

In which I "live blog" Birdsong and take a grenade to the heart...

Well I don't know about you, dear readers, but in the week leading up to part 2 of Birdsong, I was steeling myself. You might not know this, but you should never ever fall for a character that I myself am in love with. If you're about to start watching a series I recommend, first ask me for a list of my favorite characters. And never under any circumstances are you to get attached to anyone on this list. Because they. always. die. I remembered this bit of misfortune after watching part one of Birdsong and for days afterward I paced the room, blasted morose music, yes, I even cried in public (over Les Mis, but still, crying over fictional characters in public is crying over fictional characters in public). In a word, I was distressed. I had found myself in an emotional tangle yet again and all signs pointed toward a mangled heart. But fear for their fates was not enough to quench my hope that we would live happily ever after they would live.

Since Mariah's the only one that commented last week- tsk, tsk, are you just not watching? or do you just not care that I'm in dire need of moral support?! haha... *sobbing*- just kidding not really - I conceded to her request to "live blog" my reactions to part two. I KNOW RIGHT?! What was she thinking?! Does she not understand that I have a lot of FEELINGS and that this could not under any circumstances be pretty? And as my six pages of notes seem to indicate, I was really feeling ALL THE FEELINGS that no human should be capable of feeling all at once. So here, with nothing left out, I bring you my unintelligible and inner word vomit from Birdsong part two (flashbacks have been put in italics, but it's still probably confusing)...

  • Eddie! You look so ghostly.
  • Matthew Goode. Your smirk. Ah! 
  • Amiens? His reaction. OH GAWD.
  • I LOVE YOUR FACE.
  • So they ran away to the South of France. Kissing Prince Eddie in doorways? Yes please.
  •  AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Because of his face, obviously!
  • FIREBRACE! LET ME KISS YOU! BROMANCE REUNION! YAY! And Stephen asks after his sick son?!?! *HEART SPLAT*
  • Oh no! Oh NO!!! Efffffff
  • *CRYING*
  • His son, I know it's his son :(
  • dead two weeks and he though he was on the mend
  • I heart your sweaters
  • Public intoxications? Firebraaace
  • Stop him, Stephen! Thank you. Try harder... okay...
  • MY HEART! He wants to keep Stephen's portrait of him.
  • Dream house, dream wardrobe.
Je voudrais d'habiter dans une maison dans le sud de la France avec Eddie Redmayne. C'est tout.
  • Don't read Gregoire's letter out loud.
  • You don't understand family either! YOU LEFT!
  • Ah. So Stephen doesn't want to have kids when the world is the way it is. Could this be part of our explanation?
  • Chopping firewood. That's just cruel.
  • "Come here." Your voice. You bastard.
  • Ooo! Another stalker sesh! But it can't be her!
  • Angsty carpentry... did she leave him? YES! WTF!!! Whyyyyyyy?!?!
  • It's her sister. I knew it.
  • Why the HELL wouldn't you see that man?
  • WHAT HAPPENED?
  • Isabelle went back to her family. Ugh.
  • Babyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!
  • Returned to René, but not at first. Bitch, I hate you. I don't care if you're injured from the house being shelled.
  • YOU CAN AT LEAST TELL HIM WHY! Hold your ground, Stephen.
  • "For whom." Proper grammar! You're so sexy.
  • "You were a boy." Oh. no. you. DIDN'T.
  • "What am I now?" *knife in heart*
  • She doesn't deserve your touch!
  • When can I get fitted for my brass knuckles?!
  • You're not a fool, SHE IS!
  • NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE WEIR BE WITH A WOMAN JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ANGRY! DESTRUCTION ON EVERY LEVEL
Hands off, salope!
  • Good boy, Weird. Bad boy, Wraysford. Ohhh buddy, you're going to regret this.
  • New standards! I want my lover to hold me at knife-point! Yikesabee. 
  • "Where did you find this faint heart, Gray?" He's not faint! He knows the land! He's a man, you jerk! 
  • *ICE CREAM BREAK DUE TO IMPENDING DEATHS* (side note: I highly recommend vanilla with a spoonful of Nutella) 
  • Nice shot!
  • That kid's toast.
  • What do you mean, Gray? What do you mean the wire's not actually cut? It's going to be a bloodbath! What about Weir?! What about Firebrace?! What about YOU?!
Gray! Gray! Don't go awayyy!
  • "When in doubt, you go forward." Oh hell.
  • 10 minutes too early?!
  • Classical music. FUDGE A MONKEY. I HATE EVERYTHING! Letters to home. GOSH.
  • F word cleverly disguised with gunfire.
  • DAMN IT, INTERNET! HOW CAN YOU BE MESSING UP RIGHT WHEN FIREBRACE IS LEAVING THE TRENCHES WITH THE STRETCHER! IS HE DEAD OR ALIVE?!?!
  • Ugh. Stephen. Wounded again. But alive!
  • Don't shoot him, Stephen! GAH! NO!
  • Let me help youuuuu!!!
  • Where's Weir?
  • That's German! Stephen, be careful! HOLY SHIZZ! SHOOT!... You're very attractive post-shooting.
In hind sight it was post-grenade-ing
  • Bebeeeeee your face.
  • Oh no. Roll call. Oh EFF. Here we go...
  • WEIR! HE'S ALIIIIIIIIIIVE! MARRY ME, DARLING! IT'S NOT OKAY, BUT IT'S OKAY! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!
In the words of Fassy, "Come here. Just let me hold you."
  • FIREBRAAAAAAAACE!!! LEZ MAKE OUT!
  • Oh glossy eyes, I can't handle you.
  • TWO YEARS LATER? WTF?! My boys! I need A HEADCOUNT!!! Firebrace. Check! 
  • Flowers for Jeanne? Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? This is his lady friend?
She's one of my favorites.
  • Isabelle's dead. Oh stephen. Don't get reckless!
  • What's with- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! WEIR! DARLING, NOOOOOOOO!!! I FORBID YOU TO DIE INSTANTLY! *SOBBING FOREVER DAMN IT*
  • Bromance 4evs. 
  • Oh Weir. Your secrets. Firebrace. Your reaction is flawless.
  • Lucky talisman? Oh Firebrace.
  • Folding Weir's clunky sweater... *filling tissues with sorrow snot*
  • And Stephen goes underground even though he was shot last time. Because he loves Firebrace his men. 
  • EXPLOSION! NO! NO! NO!!! FREAKING OUT! FIREBRACE!
  • Phew, Prince Eddie! Get up! Find Firebrace!
  • Stop it Firebrace! He can't leave you! Oh no!
  • *sending strength to carry Firebrace through tunnels* 
*crying in fetal position*
  • Wrong way? No... It's just been block. Oh gawwwwwd...
  • MY MEN. CAN'T WE SAVE THEM LIKE CHILEAN MINERS?
  • Flashback: The child?! Stephen, are you a daddy? But he would have been ready if she'd told him, Jeanne! DON'T CRY, EDDIE! *SOBBING*
  • Underground confessions. Your face. Oh mannn.
  • You better be looking- BOMBS- for a way out and coming back for Firebrace
  • HOLD ON FIREBRACE! STEPHEN'S GOING TO BLOW YOU OUT OF HERE
  • STAY AWAKE, FIREBRACE!!!
  • Explosives + Stephen's life = queezy.
  • I want petit déj with Prince Eddie
  • "My name's Jack." My heart. DON'T DIE. 
*HEART CLUTCH*
  • "There is nothing more, sir. To love and be loved." If you die, I will hunt you down in fictional heaven.
  • No. wheezing. allowed.
  • NO! NO! NO!
  • NOOOOOOOOO!!! F! M! L! TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUU! FIREBRACE, NOOOOOOOO!!!
  • I hate the world. You're my only hope, Stephen. 
  • He's out! What superb acting! Now go change your life!
  • GERMANS! NO!!!!! But the war is over?! YES! OH DAMN! DAMN! FIREBRACE WAS SO CLOSE! 
  • EDDIE'S FACE.
Aaaaaaand my heart strings can now be classified as dilapidated.
  • BURIAL SCENE GO AWAY! I CANNOT HANDLE YOU.
  • And he changes his life. ILU. 

Well that was horrible. And wonderful. But mostly horrible. Not because it wasn't a fantastic period piece, but because Weir and Firebrace, the newest loves of my life, have passed on. Ugh. I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT! And I don't know what happened to Gray! Pardonnez-moi, but that is not allowed! Let's just say he lives and finds a time machine and marries me. But anyway... I'm glad to see that Stephen, the complicated wreck that he is, chooses happiness in the end. I love that. The character we met earlier on might have chosen to go on tormenting himself and being miserable. Not just about Isabelle, but about everything he'd seen and lost in battle. It doesn't feel like he's doing the honorable thing or what's expected by the time he shows up at that house in the French countryside. It truly feels like he's choosing to be happy, plain and simple. 

Still... I AM EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED. And just like Titanic, I don't think I can handle watching this one again any time soon. You know what else is devastating? This season Masterpiece Classic is officially over. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! But take heart, dear readers! SHERLOCK STARTS UP AGAIN NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUMBERBATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WATSON, YOUR FACE! BEST BROMANCE OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is me choosing happiness, just like Stephen.

1 comment:

  1. I AM SO SORRY it's taken me so long to comment.

    I still haven't watched this I KNOW I KNOW. I'm behind on lots of TV related things, so its nothing personal.
    But I'm ever so very happy that you decided to live blog your reactions. I feel like it gives us a real sense of your TRUE LOVE and FEELINGS for Prince Eddie, I mean, Stephen. BUT REALLY why are the characters that die the ones we always fall in love with? I have this problem too.
    IT'SJUSTNOTFAIR!

    ReplyDelete