Tuesday, May 15, 2012

May we talk about your seduction techniques?

You sly fox... (x)
What is it about Hiddles? What? Because suddenly things that were never appealing before- things that have never tempted you in the slightest- seem to be the most attractive idea in the world when he's involved. For instance, hypothetically *cough* speaking...

1. You're one of the last to walk into a sold-out showing of The Avengers and the front row should not seem like a good idea. But the room starts closing in around you as you notice that no two free seats available in the main section were together and maybe start to hyperventilate in the form of, "OhmygoshIcan'tohmygoshwhathowdidthishappenwhatdowedo?!?!" Your roommate turns to you and says, "It's okay! We'll sit in the front row." You shake your head vehemently. All this waiting just to sit in the front row? "No really, it's okay," she continues, "this way you'll be closer to Loki."

Your reaction is somewhat delayed, but... eventually you start nodding your head. Yes. Yes! What a sublime idea! Closer to Loki! Closer to Hiddles! Move over, Captain America fans! You're about to grace the entire theater behind you with arm flails every time Loki storms on screen.
Burdened with glorious purpose! aka your seduction. (x)
Has this happened to you, dear readers? You have been Loki'd seduced! By Hiddles. Consider yourself spoiled for all other men

2. It's the last night The Deep Blue Sea is playing at your local indie theater, but your friends don't understand the draw of Tom Hiddleston in a leading role. They're blind. They're soulless. They'll make excellent candidates for your next brainwashing or risk being struck off the invite list when you and Hiddles tie the knot in the Scottish highlands. But then... maybe this is your chance to say no and resist temptation. Hiddles has proven life ruiner enough at the cost of your own poor heart. It's a sign. Don't go. You're not going. Five hours later... *tweets* "Hot date with Hiddles!!!" You have just gone to the movies by yourself. Congratulations, you have been seduced! By Hiddles. Your life is over.
How dare you look so good in tweed! (x)
3. Speaking of The Deep Blue Sea, you're not normally one to root for the guy who steals the wife away from her husband. Especially when he has anger management issues and drives this woman to suicide (not a spoiler, I promise, it's how the movie starts). What an immature and explosive character... what a... what a deliciously twisted character with Mediterranean eyes you could dive into. Who fought in WWII, sings "You Belong To Me" softly in your ear, and makes slow-dancing look like something that ought to be advertised as the next big thing on the cover of Cosmo. There you are sitting by yourself in the theater, luckily without anyone behind you, as you squirm in your seat as he bestows the kiss. to. end. all. kisses. You're breaking out for the pom-poms for an affair! What?! Safe to say that you have been seduced! By Hiddles. You will never be the same. Don't believe me? The proof of the pudding:

Mhmm... that's not the last time you'll see this on the blog.
Consider this a warning, dear readers. Either you're already going through the heartache that follows after Tom Hiddleston's sneaky seduction skillz rip your FEELINGS to shreds or you're next on his list. Don't let the gentle purr of his voice or his pure, innocent, and unsuspecting face fool you. Underneath is a heartless womanizer. Oh he's good. A little too good.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's safe to say, as you already know Sally, that I am experiencing all of these conditions and more. What has this man, this delicious, delicious man, done to us?! Our HEARTS are his, like seriously. When you two get married in the highlands, I'm coming, and since Hemsworth is already married, Cumberbatch and I will be there with bells on.