The V.S. Dictionary

Consider these helpful subtitles the next time we say something undecipherable:

ALL CAPS FEELINGS - more EMOTIONAL than lowercase feeling
brass knuckles - angry to the point of violence i.e. anytime Thomas is on screen in Downton Abbey
ALL THE FEELINGS - being possessed of every emotion under the sun at once
boots - a gent, usually British, who pulls off the riding boots look
hearts in my eyes - amorous and dreamlike state brought on by witnessing lovely things
CREYES FOR EYES - these eyes were made for sobbing uncontrollably
fan flail - an unadulterated fit of craziness in public
feels - feelings, but those which are quick and to the point
fictional boyfriend - a male character you'd like to believe- or seriously believe- is your b.f.
grabby hands - hand motion indicating heightened level of desire
heart-clutch - placing your hand over your heart to soothe the pangs 
his/her faaaaaaaace - when a character's heartbreaking expressions break your heart
I can't/I caaaaaaaaan't - when you can no longer handle something
I HATE EVERYTHING - an emotional distress signal 
life ruiner - a gent with such power over you that he not only destroys you for all other men, but generally makes going on living as you were impossible
melty chocolate eyes - when someone's gaze reduces you to a puddle of goo
my heart! - ouch
OTP - one true pairing i.e. two characters who so belong together
PROXIMITY - when two characters are SUPER CLOSE- generally standing impossibly near each other, brushing fingertips, etc- and there's so much tension, it's somehow better than kissing
Sassurday - a Saturday belonging to Sassy Fassy i.e. every Saturday
shark - an unfairly attractive gent with a wicked big grin
ship - when you support a romantic relationship between two characters
smelling salts - when drastic if not chemical measures must be taken to arouse you into consciousness 
stars in my eyes - state of bedazzlement
swoon - to faint
SWOON - to really faint
SAH-WOON - to seriously faint, induced by hysteria
your argument is invalid - I hear nothing but the dulcet tones of my unrealistic beloved
ZOMG - like OMG, but with a Z and, therefore, more poignant


  1. I've always wondered about ZOMG. Thank you for clearing that up.

  2. I DO seriously believe in my fictional boyfriends, so perhaps we should just start calling them... boyfriends?